Shame vs. Embarrassment

I’ve been pondering the topic of embarrassment vs. shame for a few months now.  This is a topic far larger than my mind so I'm curious about other's thoughts out there.  In my pondering this is the conclusion I've come to:  ”Embarrassment is born out of shame.”

Think about the similarities first.  Both shame and embarrassment call the individual into hiding, or at least strike the individual with the urge to flee into isolation where they can no longer be seen.  Both are emotions that cause the desire for isolation.  Both are emotions that speak to the individual’s self perceived negative qualities (“I’m bad,” “I’m clumsy,” “I’m ugly,” etc).  Both are born out of an experience.

But which comes first?  Is there even a difference between the two terms or are they simply synonyms for one another?  I believe, based on my own experience, that there are two distinct differences between shame and embarrassment.

First, I believe that shame is a more intense, longer-lasting and more deeply rooted version of embarrassment.  I know many people, myself included, who have developed maladaptive interpersonal skills that keep others at a distance, due to experiences of shame.  Shame, to me, seems to tell an individual “You are bad,” whereas an embarrassing experience may say “This experience was bad.”  Shame seems to be a truth an individual adopts in the core of who they are and, from there, that core creates ways for that individual to avoid others seeing their shame.  While an embarrassing experience may cause an individual to want to avoid that same environment for a few days, that individual’s root issue of shame has likely been in place since childhood.

Second, I believe that shame is the root cause of embarrassment.  Shame is the fuel that allows embarrassment to spark into life.  This comes just simple observation.  Imagine two people tripping and falling down in a public place.  What causes one individual the ability to laugh at the event and forget about it shortly after while the other individual experiences a sense of dread at their clumsiness being exposed (embarrassment)?  In the first individual, they have to have a sense of self that is based upon the goodness of who they are.  In the second, the individual would seem to be operating from a place of trying to keep parts of them from being exposed.  The fear of having these areas be exposed, in a sense being naked and vulnerable before others, is the experience of embarrassment.  Those specific areas that are hidden, those are the areas of shame within that person.

These are my thoughts, they may change, they may not.  I have a lot of experience with shame and embarrassment, however, and at this point this explanation seems to ring true to me.